RJP

I am on a quest to live stress-free joy-filled every moment of everyday. I have yet to be successful for an entire day, or even come close. Since I have decided to pursue this lifestyle, I am able to say that I have not had a 'rough' day. I often have bad moments, and many days, numerous bad moments strung together, but when I feel my problem start to outweigh his presence it offers the necessity to stop, regain my focus, and continue with life.
The kingdom consists of righteous, joy, and peace. If I am apart of the kingdom and the kingdom lives inside of me, should not I always have righteous, joy, and peace? The kingdom does not leave me, so why do not I always have the fruit of tree?
In reality, I do not really believe what I say is possible to live. I do not really think that the kingdom is active within my person all the time. Even when I am acting the role, I often feel plastic and fake. It is a slower than desired process of changing my thinking to what I know that I am from what I think I am, from who I think I deserve to become. What am I letting rob my joy, my peace? When I let the kingdom be fully realized internally my external atmosphere will leak such joy and peace. When I learn to always recognize the lies I daily believe about myself rather than the truth that is available to me my life will leak such joy and peace. When I am able to live the concept that I am made in the image of God, that who is fitting my life on his hand like a glove, rather than believing that he is mad at me and dissappointed with me, my life will leak such joy and peace. When I identify that I do have joy and peace as a part of my dna, it becomes a matter of letting it out rather than searching to find it.