I often have a difficult time engaging in the present. That is, being satisfied with where I am, what I am, what I am accomplishing. The thoughts that consume me are of what is next, where am I going, am I doing to become, or am I simply wasting days, wasting breath.
.i dream.
This mindset often becomes a drawback as I am most always looking to accomplish. I am bored if I am not progressing. This allows me to rarely become stagnant in anything I do, but pushes me to work outside of appropriate timing. Soon I will have opportunities to choose a ministry to assume leadership over. I want nothing more than for people to have an encounter that changes their lives forever in an instant. I want nothing more than to engage in the presence so much that those whom I simply brush shoulders with are consumed with the power that saves nations. I want the world to know...
The laboring images haunt me of failure, boredom, insufficiency. Time to time I pray the simple prayer "God, I don't want to suck". How can I move His presence into my group; how can I transform a group into a movement; what can I do that will make You stay; how can I?
.i can't.
Laying on the ground, arguing my desires with the undeniable need for Him to interact for my hope to be achieved, I hear these words "just be flammable".
.i will.
Monday, March 30, 2009
Wednesday, March 4, 2009
developing thought
I listen to people say how 'unable' they are, how much they mess up, how they are nothing. These are people whom I trust, value, and learn from. But is this what humility is? I recognize that without the hand of God on my life, I am nothing; without the Lord I cannot move, I cannot breathe, the very essence of my being is held together by Him every second. But who I am, what my identity is, entirely is motivated and connect to God.
On this earth, there is not a single person who is not innately linked to God, believer or not. God is apart of me just as my blood is apart of me, without it, I cannot not live. This is not a cry of desperation, but a physical reality that without the presence, literally I believe I would not be apart of this earth. Why then would I express that I am nothing, that I do not measure up, why am I identifying myself outside of the presence? He is apart of me and I should not be so ignorant to label myself outside of him.
I was designed in the image, I was created in the mold of greatness, this is who I am, not who I will become. Death is not my destiny, nor is it my savior. I am not a sinner, I have been redeemed and set free, and his redemption is complete, perfect, and does not stop. I have been made new, therefore, I do not have the right to catalog as one who is incomplete, inadequate, and unable. I do mess up, I do make poor decisions; but this is not who I am.
Outside of the presence I cannot find my identity, I cannot be described outside of him and me, me and him.
Done.
On this earth, there is not a single person who is not innately linked to God, believer or not. God is apart of me just as my blood is apart of me, without it, I cannot not live. This is not a cry of desperation, but a physical reality that without the presence, literally I believe I would not be apart of this earth. Why then would I express that I am nothing, that I do not measure up, why am I identifying myself outside of the presence? He is apart of me and I should not be so ignorant to label myself outside of him.
I was designed in the image, I was created in the mold of greatness, this is who I am, not who I will become. Death is not my destiny, nor is it my savior. I am not a sinner, I have been redeemed and set free, and his redemption is complete, perfect, and does not stop. I have been made new, therefore, I do not have the right to catalog as one who is incomplete, inadequate, and unable. I do mess up, I do make poor decisions; but this is not who I am.
Outside of the presence I cannot find my identity, I cannot be described outside of him and me, me and him.
Done.
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