dream

I often have a difficult time engaging in the present. That is, being satisfied with where I am, what I am, what I am accomplishing. The thoughts that consume me are of what is next, where am I going, am I doing to become, or am I simply wasting days, wasting breath.

.i dream.

This mindset often becomes a drawback as I am most always looking to accomplish. I am bored if I am not progressing. This allows me to rarely become stagnant in anything I do, but pushes me to work outside of appropriate timing. Soon I will have opportunities to choose a ministry to assume leadership over. I want nothing more than for people to have an encounter that changes their lives forever in an instant. I want nothing more than to engage in the presence so much that those whom I simply brush shoulders with are consumed with the power that saves nations. I want the world to know...

The laboring images haunt me of failure, boredom, insufficiency. Time to time I pray the simple prayer "God, I don't want to suck". How can I move His presence into my group; how can I transform a group into a movement; what can I do that will make You stay; how can I?

.i can't.

Laying on the ground, arguing my desires with the undeniable need for Him to interact for my hope to be achieved, I hear these words "just be flammable".


.i will.