Do you see me?

...are they watching...
...do they see me...
...am I noticed...
...are they impressed...
...am I doing enough...
...am I important....

...AM I GOOD ENOUGH...

30 Fifth grade students stand together prepared to sing for their video-camera wielding parents. A few select are chosen to sing prepared solo's; though there's one student, unconcerned with the music, words, the former practice, tunnel-visioned to the affirmation of their parent. And at the most inopportune time shouting: "Dad, am I doing good?"

The definition of the person has begun to be written. It is by what I do that I am valued. The perceived thoughts and reactions of who I label as important, give my life meaning, daily looking for someone to put a price to who I am. The greater the price, the greater the significance. When I have little to offer, at least in their mind, and now my own, I have little value. "Dad, am I doing good?" - Do you think I'm important - your thoughts define me.

I sat frustrated, thoughts of inadequacy overwhelming truth: yes you may be good, but you will never be great, average among elite, forgotten amid the renown. Performance paradigm now deeply rooted as it was modeled at an early age. I have little worth when I am only able to offer what is modest. When I have little to profit from others' lives, I create minimal time for a person I view as having minimal importance. Selfishness in cycles: my own insecurity compounds theirs and back again. "Dad, am I doing good?" - Am I valuable? -

Selfishness, fear, insecurity disconnect reality. Truth remains, I am valuable enough that someone who had nothing to gain, gave himself up. Truth remains, my author went bankrupt to unchain me from selfishness, fear, insecurity. Truth remains, He did it all to look me in the eye:

"Andrew, you are worth it"