These are the thoughts that have possessed me this week:
What goes into how I act, what I say, how I react, how I respond, who I am? Is this what personality is made of, or is this what pain and fear designed in me? I refuse to say "its just the way I am" because I'm not sure I know what the 'am' is in me.
Over the last month or two, I have attempted to be intentional with how I react and respond to people, ideas, conversations, and situations as the person I want to be, rather than the person I feel that I am. 'You will become who you think you are' - the phrase daily rings in my head.
How much of who I reveal to be is based out of pain, is founded in fear, is focused on not being, rather than becoming? Am I so focused on who I do not want to be that I miss on becoming everything that could be me? I often see myself in retro-spec to a situation where I reacted to someone or something poorly because of an emotional scar from years ago where I said 'I will never again trust here, never again will I love like this'. I find myself running from something or someone because I am afraid to be rejected, because it feels like a place, a situation, a moment that I have lived before, where I was rejected, where pain defined began to define me.
Can I become a person who does not react from the past, who knows no object in fear, who sees himself as who he is destined to become instead of the lies he has believed about himself? This is who I will become - This is who I am
.I am not motivated by fear.
.I am not dictated by pain.
.I move mountains.
.I am favored.
.I am love.
