Today was the completion of my first day as a college graduate. I am already sick of hearing the question: "How does it feel?" But it is inevitable when anyone realizes what happened this last weekend. It feels great to have accomplished, almost a feeling of arrival, coupled with the desire to want more; to want to learn more; to want to be more; not wanting to settle as achieved, but to achieve greater now.
It is also terrifing. I have all that was concretely planned for my life. Yet there are still things that I know that I will achieve and become, but a fear of not knowing how those will come about grips me. I have been working for this moment for so long, now that it is here - what is next? How do I bridge the gap of my dreams and future to my current reality?
I feel like a batter trudging from the on-deck circle to the batter's box, ready to swing but unable to see where the ball will go. I've been practicing for years, sitting in the dugout, watching, waiting for my opportunity; I'm working to find the balance in patience and aggressiveness. Thoughts of failure race through my mind, but everything that I am knows I am designed for success.
I know that I just need to rest and let the game come to me. A friend of mine said: "Rest is not the absence of activity - but the presence of peace". Provision has never been absent in my life, nevertheless, uncertainty still remains my biggest adversary.
I have been set up to trust.
1 comment:
good word.
i like that quote.
and... i think you write to eloquently and beautiful. i wish i could write this good. even if it's about something as simple as graduating. (not to make it sound like it wasn't a great feat! bc it was...)
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